He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
