Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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