why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
