I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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