I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
