She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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