he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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