Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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