ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You can't special order awesome
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
