She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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