.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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