Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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