Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
