he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
