wat bout pragnant strippers??
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
