obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
