I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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