i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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