my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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