Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
