There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize