I skipped work to stalk him.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
