I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
