I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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