We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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