Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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