idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
