Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize