sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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