I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
