i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize