i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
