roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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