This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
