I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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