I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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