did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
