After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize