I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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