i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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