i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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