Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
