The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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