I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
