I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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