Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
