I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
