yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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