one might say we're banned from that church
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
