i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
