So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
