quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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