Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
