just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I believe in your delicious
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
