I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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