she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
