office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
