If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
