Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
