He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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