I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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