You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Terrible idea I love it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
