Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
FUCK WHALES
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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