idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
