no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I believe in your delicious
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
