the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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