Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize