Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
