I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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