i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
