There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
