Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
