I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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