That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
